My New Moon

new-moon-through-the-trees

“Tide and time receive my wish,
And grant me new beginnings.”

Hilariously enough, as I was trying to come up with the words for this very first blog post, I was absent-mindedly scrolling through Facebook and I found – for probably the 30th time, and it never fails to break my heart – that false poster for Hocus Pocus 2. And as I mentally grumble about what a tease this is, I realize why this ended up my newsfeed once again. My brother had commented about how his little sister had watched this movie so many times as a kid, he could once recite every word.

I had to laugh, because it was such an appropriate thing for me to see as I struggled to collect and record my story. Why have I come to the beginning of this journey into The Craft, why did I chose this for myself, and when did it begin?

Don’t misunderstand! I’m not looking to be a Winfred Sanderson or Hermione Granger. I’m fully aware that Hollywood magic is not at all how magick really works. But it really helped remind me that there was no key event or distinct moment where I was like “Oh my gosh, magick is real!” or “I think I want to be a witch.”

No, this has always been with me. For as long as I can remember, anything and everything witch-y or magical has captivated me. I insisted on dressing up as a witch nearly every Halloween growing up. I can recall, when my brother and nephew picked up sticks to use as swords, I drew a wand. I remember sitting in my room with a plastic pale-turned-cauldron, mixing a potent elixir of legos, marbles, and pennies. Which, by the way, I scrupulously measured out and added to my brew in an exact order. Half-Blood Prince, eat your heart out!

There were more subtle cues as well that I never noticed until just recently, such as being more excited about decorating, baking, singing, and the smell of cinnamon and vanilla around Christmas time than presents. I’ve also always felt like one day just wasn’t long enough for a holiday – it had to be at least a week (Yule)!

So then, why, after a quarter-century, am I just starting to study and practice The Craft now? So, my family dynamic is…interesting. I am the youngest of five children; we all share the same Dad, but my three sisters have the same mother and my brother and I have the same mother. Between me and my eldest sister, let’s call her First Sister, there is a 22 year age gap. Due to this, First Sister always felt more like an aunt to me, and my niece and nephew felt like cousins. As Brother and I grew up and our parents divorced, my then-single mother relied on First Sister (who was always more than willing to help my Mother despite her being our Father’s ex-wife, bless her giant heart) watched us a lot.

Bear with me, this story does have a point, and here it is: First Sister is VERY Christian, and apparently her son and Brother were beyond saving, but her daughter and I? Many sleepovers involved mandatory Sunday-morning church (which every 10-year-old who went to bed at 4am just loves).

Church never felt…right to me. There were so many things in the Bible, and in the songs and the hymns, and in almost every aspect of Christianity that just didn’t resonate with me. The idea of good deities and evil deities made sense, but little else did. I won’t go into specifics, but it was pretty clear that walk of life was not for me. And yet I tried to force it, because I love my sister and I wanted to please her, and at the end of the day her heart was in the right place. Also because my niece, let’s call her Jane, is my longest and closest friend and I didn’t want to risk family drama that might separate us. I played Christian for nearly 10 years, and as the Bible teaches, Witchcraft was the Devil’s work and therefore forbidden.

Even after I had abandoned Christianity and taken up being an Agnostic Theist, I kept myself away from Witchcraft out of pure fear. Fear that my sister would find out and fear that I wouldn’t be able to see Jane or Jane’s two kids (who I absolutely adore), but also fear that what if the Devil might actually be real and engaging in Witchcraft would entice his wrath? I believe the word we might be looking for here is brainwashed.

Among the numerous works of fiction I inhaled depicting witches and wizards on magical adventures, it really began with an intuitive reading I received a couple of years ago that to this very day continues to come true, and then Jane expressed an interest in going to a Holistic Fair with me because she also wanted to get a reading done. As I continued to receive one spot-on reading after another and friends came out of the woodwork wanting to also get readings, I found myself suddenly a Holistic Fair-frequenter, ever pulled to the vendor selling herbs, crystals, and pendulums. Suddenly, I couldn’t wait for the next Fair to further my learning and began doing light research online, watching Youtube videos, and making a beeline for the New Age section of every bookstore I entered.

 It wasn’t until I was driving with my Mom a few months back, and I tentatively mentioned my many tarot and intuitive readings because I was so excited about the last reading I had received. My Mother has always been open minded, always into everything witch-y like myself, but I was unsure still how she would react. She surprised me by expressing a lot of interest, and as I was telling her about a pet psychic I had seen, I slipped and referred to my black cat as my “familiar”. An awkward quiet fell over the car before she finally spoke.

mycat

My familiar, Tiki. I was not a cat person when I met my now-husband, and I was actually annoyed when I found out he had a cat. Then I met her, and she decided that I was her’s. The rest is history.

“Are you into that kind of thing?” Meaning, I knew, Witchcraft.

I didn’t know what to say, so I remained silent, my stomach twisting painfully in nervousness. I had been so careful to hide this side of me from everyone in my family except Jane, and so careless in that moment when I became to excited in getting to talk about my experiences. I waited silently for her next response.

“Because…I am too.”

If First Sister were a playing card, she’d be the Jack of Hearts, but Mother is the Queen, and the Queen beats the Jack. And so, with the support of my Mother, I have felt much more comfortable in my research and my practice of the Craft. I purchased the book “How To Become A Witch” by Amber K and Azrael Arynn K and it has proven to have been a wonderful investment. I’m still a bit in the broom closet, knowing that many people in my life would not take me being a witch well, but I have begun my journey.

tools

Which brings us here, to the beginning of this blog. This blog will serve many purposes for me. It will, in essence, be my Book of Shadows as I fill it with essays on various points in my research of The Craft and spells that I have found or created and tried. It will also serve as a diary in which I can record my experiences in the realm of magick, spirituality, and the supernatural, both past and future. And with any luck, it will connect me to other witches out there that share my beliefs.

One thing that I do know is that when practicing The Craft, it’s ever important set your intentions before beginning a spell or ritual. So here it is: I set my intentions to regularity update this blog, which means ever researching The Craft and related religions such as Wicca, and having experiences that I can share.

I set my intention to update at least every two weeks, but try to update more often, and always make it as informative as possible.

I set my intention to begin this new chapter in my life and work towards overcoming my insecurities.

“Life is a twisting and turning path, ever changing and flowing.

My journey has brought me this far, and I am ready to take the next step.

I call upon the energies and powers of The Universe to guide me on my way.

Today, I say farewell to all that has prevented me from becoming the person I wish to be.”

—Patti Wigington, thoughtco.com

As I will it, so mote it be.

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